A couple months ago, I got an email from a local author named Shelby Simpson (local by way of New York, New Zealand and Thailand.) She said she was publishing a book about embarrassing sex stories and after receiving some pushback decided to reach out to women in Oklahoma who might have some experience talking about sex publicly.
Seeing as how I have plenty of that experience and it happens to be on my favorite topics, I eagerly accepted the invitation for coffee.
After bonding over 90s hip hop, we got to such important business as:
If Oklahoma had its own, unique sexual position, what would it be called?
Lauren: “I have three:
The Fracking – This is when you have to wait for the ground to shake to get off because your partner is too busy jacking off in a wad of toilet paper and hiding it in the bathroom.
The Falin – This is when you ignore your own body parts and just do whatever it takes to get your bank roll off.
The Thunder – This is where you’re fucking your significant other, and you pretend you’re really into it, but you’re actually watching Russell Westbrook on TV.
Somewhere in the process, I not only rapped for her but we unpacked some of the weird shit people say when you talk about sex or bodies or being a woman and all the shame we collect because of it.
I shared my #1 favorite Youtube comment: "If you would just close your clown car vagina, that would not have happened to you." In response to my poem, To The Oklahoma Lawmakers which tells the story of assault & abortion.
And she talked about how a co-worker asked her what her dad would think about her telling her sex life to the whole world which prompted asking women to share their stories.
There is nothing more threatening than a liberated woman, I suppose.